annexedlogs | Meeting of Minds [Open to bentheredonethat]

Meeting of Minds [Open to bentheredonethat]

He'd said to find him in the jungle; it already seemed a far better option in terms of living space, at least to her - away from the crowd, as it were, free from any number of complications, and far more peaceful. She stopped by the river first, to put cold water on her face, brushing the sweat from the fine fur on her face. She's been too active on these missions, and frankly misses her Jedi armour - not exactly enough to stand up to a lightsaber, but enough to deflect at least a few blaster shots. It moves more easily.

Granted, she could also do with her lightsaber.

Brushing back the fur a bit, she sighed, standing up slowly, stretching her back. What was so strange to her, in this moment, about meeting another Jedi? She was fairly certain that was who she was meeting - despite, or perhaps because of, his cagey manner about being from the same universe.

The vibrosword was strapped to her side, deactivated. Crude, by her standards. But serviceable. She wondered, idly, why she couldn't feel him as she approached the hut - what had made him so good at hiding?

But she approached, and knocked - her own presence in the Force not masked in the slightest.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

All of them could benefit from the return of their lightsabers. Back in the quiet of the small jungle cottage he'd claimed as his own, Obi-Wan had been inwardly amused by the thought of how the elegant weapon could just as easily be considered a comfort blankie.

After the mission events he had ensured that Juhani knew the general location of where he could be found, before he'd retreated to the solitude of the jungle. Though his home was open to Leia, as often as not the young girl was off on her own adventures and Obi-Wan figured it was for the best that a little ignorance was bliss when it came to said adventures.

Obi-Wan had not yet removed his chip, which meant that the Force could not alert him to Juhani's approach, nor did he have an astromech droid buried in the ground to act as sentinel. What he did have was the rich fauna and insectoid life found in the jungle; the living Force, even if he wasn't directly connected to it at the moment.

Settled on his knees, in the center of his home, the agitated rustle of leaves combined with the cries of animals and the hiss of insects drew the Jedi out of the light meditation he'd been enjoying. Taking a deep breath, he was not able to identify who was approaching, only that someone was coming in close and while there was a disturbance in the animal life around his home, the creatures were quickly settling.

Not an attack or a ready threat, instinct told him. Though he was still cautious as he came to the door.

The sketches and holos in the Jedi Archives never did anyone justice, but there likeness was close enough that he knew her before he opened the door. Smiling warmly, Obi-Wan let the door fall open and then executed a deep, respectful bow before her.

"Guardian Juhani," he greeted her. "I am honored in your presence."

She bowed in return, eyebrow arching.

"Please, let us not be formal. Juhani is more than enough. There need not be reverence between colleagues, surely?"

It was a small guess, but not much of one. Everything about his countenance said Jedi to her. The invitation for tea didn't exactly break the pattern.

But there is something about him that is off, as well. She can't guess at the cause, but it has a name: pain. That much she has seen, too.

"Though I must thank you for the invitation. The last while has been...trying, to say the least."

There was something soothing about executing the bow to her, a sense of nostalgia for a past where such an action was one he had afforded many as he went about his day. The younger ones in their midst even Ezra who had Kanan's example to follow, might never quite understand the serenity that came with the ritual.

Straightening he smiled in recognition of her request -small bow of the head- as he stepped back so she could enter the space.

"Of course," he acknowledge. "You may call me ..." he stopped. For a moment he wasn't sure who to present himself as. She would have no history to link back to the actions and deeds of Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, and giving her that name to use felt akin to trying to put on a coat that no longer fit. With an inward snort, his smile softened and he finished. "Ben. Please, call me Ben."

The windows were open throughout the space, letting in the richly scented air and a cool breeze that came off the river. Obi-Wan motioned her towards her pick of a few cushions that had made their way to the floor, a chair or a large sofa that seemed a little out of place.

"I'm afraid I do not have a selection of tea to offer," he said apologetically as he stepped towards the small stove upon which set a kettle.

"Ben," she repeated, in acknowledgement. "A simple name, for a simple life?"

It was not said with any tone of insult, but rather of appreciation - she was already considering modifying her own living arrangements along his lines, as a result of seeing it like this. The fine fur on her neck ruffled a bit at the breeze, and she smiled. Yes, it reminded her of...Kashyyyk, Dantooine - places she had felt the Force so strongly.

She folded herself onto a cushion, legs under her, smiling softly.

"The offer is more than enough," she replied, sniffing the air. "This place...it's reminding me of the Academy on Dantooine...so close to nature, so alive with it."

Whether it was intended that way or not, he treated her question as rhetorical, a diplomatic trick he had learned at his master's knee. Smiling in a way that could be taken as acknowledgement, without actually being acknowledgement, it was not meant to be disrespectful or dishonest to her. Rather, an openly honest answer would open topics that neither of them needed to be wrestling with at the moment.

Not until they had the opportunity to simply talk and be introduced to one another.

"I have to admit that I grew up in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant and spent most of my younger years as a servant to the Unifying Force. My Master was an avid student of the Living Force; he would probably be quite amused to find me settling myself in the middle of a rain forest."

The words were lightly spoken, even playful as he finished putting together a makeshift tea tray and then carrying it over to join her at the cushions. In truth, Obi-Wan hoped that whether he could sense him or not, Qui-Gon was somehow here. At least when he meditated he spoke as if his master were here, even if he did not expect a response.

With tea tray and himself gracefully settled, he reached to pour for both of them but then let Juhani choose any additions she wished to add to her warm drink.

"I did visit Dantooine as a Padawan. My master was rejuvenated. I developed a phobia of finding amphibians in my boots."

She took none, at least for now. The tea was enough, holding the warm cup in her hands, savouring the smell before she even took a sip. She sighed, content.

"Our journeys are always so unexpected, aren't they? We end up in so many unexpected places. Frankly, just being a Jedi may be the unexpected end."

She took her first sip, eyes closing as she savoured it, before smiling.

"You would have, I think, enjoyed the grasslands around the Temple far more - endless tall grass, the wind rustling through it. Brith and Fabool in the skies above. Never the same, from one moment to the next. A good place to learn."

Taking his own tea with a touch of a citrus fruit that reminded him of lemon, Obi-Wan settled comfortably back on his heels and watched his guest. As she began to speak, he smiled and despite the ache in his heart, allowed himself to be carried back to stories he'd heard as a crecheling.

"You bring the beauty of the place to life," he admitted and his smile widened. "My Master Qui-Gon would have been a natural fit for those places. He would have forever been bringing in whatever small fauna roamed within those grasslands." There was a hint of a laugh in Obi-Wan's tone as he could imagine his master with small plains rodents tucked into every pocket of his cloak.

"I read about the Temple," he continued in a more sober tone. "And your times, your accomplishments. May I ask how far along in your journey you have found yourself, before arriving here?"

"I think I would have liked your Master," she replied, the r's rolling as was her way. "A curious mind."

His questions, though, brought her back to the present - she placed her cup down for the moment.

"For me, the destruction of the Star Forge was mere weeks ago. I had thought a...quieter existence awaited me, after that. It appears in that I was gravely mistaken."

She was silent a moment, before putting forth her own question: "you speak of me as if I am a history lesson, some...revered past. Which tells me some considerable time has passed from my era to yours. Just...how far apart are we?"

Inwardly Obi-Wan thinks she probably would have liked Qui-Gon, most beings did. Up to the point when Qui-Gon went maverick on them, following the will of the Force and be damned the desires of puny mortals.

She speaks so calmly of the destruction of the Star Forge, a lesson in history that he studied numerous times across his younger years. Her question shakes him out of his slightly star struck head and he takes in a deep breath.

"Let me think," he says aloud as he dusts off those history lessons and does the math. "According to the Archives, the Star Forge was destroyed around four thousand years before I was born."

Saying it aloud made the span feel more than a little daunting and Obi-Wan took a calming sip of his tea to help center himself. He lowered the cup and looked over at her with a small grin.

"Please do not ask me to detail all the events of the past four thousand years. I was a decent student of history, but no scholar."

She, in turn, is wondering what this Qui-Gon would have thought of Revan - defending the weak even in defiance of the entire Order. But then he produces a number and it...staggers her. She would be nothing but dust by then, and hardly worthy of memory in Revan's grand crusade.

She sighs as the weight of that sinks in, shoulders sagging a bit as she reaches for her cup again.

"I would not want you to tell me," she said. "It would be both unnecessary and entirely too much. I find it strange enough that my part was remembered at all. I never...wished renown, or fame. Merely to help those that needed it."

"A very Jedi point of view," Obi-Wan said with a hint of humor but also gentleness. "None of us should want notoriety, I have never seen it serve anyone well."

The last statement saw the humor fade and in the next moment Obi-Wan looked down at his tea, before artlessly attempting to change the subject.

"What was it like, at the Academy?" He knew that Qui-Gon had often discussed what he felt was a missed opportunity in the guise of keeping the crechelings and the initiates on Coruscant, in the Temple. Rather than having them out in the galaxy, closer to the living Force and perhaps even living on worlds where they would learn about the struggle of some species in the Republic.

"Nor I. Besides, my life was...not one of seeking glory. I was...an orphan, then a slave. Then liberated and given my chance by a Jedi, to become one of them, when she freed me. And do you know the thing of it was? I never learned her name."

She smiles, a bit faintly.

"She didn't think it was important that there be a name, just that she gave me my freedom. That is when I learned the true meaning of humility. But the Academy, ah."

She would agree - Coruscant was cold, half-dead to her. So much life and yet...so divorced from the natural world.

"Nature surrounded, in short. The courtyards were open to the sky, the hallways caressed by the winds from outside. We were far from the settlements, too - beyond us were wild lands, with caves of lightsaber crystals. Sometimes treacherous places, filled with laigreks - but there were always ways to the crystal caverns themselves."

She continued, after a sip of tea.

"I don't know what or who survived, after the Sith bombarded it. I hope it returned, in the fullness of time. Dantooine was...a revelation."

Even if it made her wonder if she was cursed, in a way. Her homeworld of Cathar, ravaged by the Mandalorians. Her adopted world, Taris, nearly annihilated by the Sith fleet. Then Dantooine. Every planet she had lived on had suffered a similar fate, in some form.

"In any event, it was technically an Enclave, though there was no practical difference," she finished. "A place to learn, to grow, to truly become - an Academy in every real sense."

Obi-Wan was quiet and attentive as she described the Academy. He smiled, thinking of Qui-Gon's favorite place in the Temple and imagining his old master at the Academy. He also couldn't help imagining Anakin there; so far removed from the harsh, arid environment of Tatooine. Perhaps it would have helped ...

Obi-Wan quickly shook off that line of thinking and pulled himself back to the present.

"There was a room in the Temple, called the Room of a Thousand Fountains. It was close to what you describe, and there were smaller gardens but we were still on Coruscant." Which had been all Obi-Wan had ever known.

"We would travel to the ice caves of Ilum as initiates to be discovered by our crystals. For most of us it would mark the first time we left Coruscant since arriving as infants." A very different world from what Juhani had known. Obi-Wan frowned thoughtfully, looking down at his tea.

"I was a child of that Order. The Council would have said that my master was a man out of his time, belonging more to your time. Looking back, it was my Order that lost it's way. Master Qui-Gon was who we all should have been; the Temple should have been the Academy."

Was he making sense? Maaayyybbee not. Her presence felt like being back with Master Qui-Gon in a lot of ways, and Obi-Wan had a great deal of apologizing to do to his old master. Juhani was getting the edges of that remorse.

Very different indeed. Training from infants? Juhani hadn't arrived to train until her late teens - a strange difference.

"The Council...is not always as wise as it should be," she replied, quietly. It was a heretical thought, really, but one that had been expressed more and more openly - even before the Sith had attacked the Jedi, pushing them to the brink.

"It becomes set in its ways, valuing the long-term over the present. There were...schisms, even before the Mandalorians attacked. The Council's will was not always law - because some of us had already stopped obeying."

She shook her head, chuckling a bit.

"I was already in secret rebellion against their dictates before I even met Revan. Joining his cause was...a simple decision."

Settling back on his heels, Obi-Wan felt his shoulders drop, and despite his best efforts he couldn't bring himself to square them again. Not for this moment.

"You'd have thought we would have learned our lesson," he admitted in a soft voice. "We were supposed to be wise enough, but in the end we repeated the doomed lessons of our own history."

She frowns a bit, not having wanted to create that reaction by any means.

"It has been thousands of years since my time," she replied, carefully, "so much can be lost in that amount of time - given the Mandalorians, and the Sith...we will have to rebuild from very little after two terrible wars."

She tries to offer what she can.

"In all that time, so much could have happened to push the Order to make the choices that it did."

Though she can't know it, the answer is simple: for a thousand years, the Jedi Order thought the Sith had disappeared for good. Complacency is a deadly enemy - one which leads to other errors in time.

When he was around the younger generation, Obi-Wan did his level best to be calm and serene. He shied away from the title of Master yet did what he could to be a foundation anchor in the chaos that the galaxy had devolved into over the past decade.

Juhani, like Padme, was catching glimpses of the deep emotional scars left behind by what had happened. The depth of survivor's guilt and grief that Obi-Wan strove to release into the Force, but with which he still struggled.

"Nothing pushed the Order," he said, his elegant accent clipped. "We grew arrogant. Wrapped our enigmatic reputations around us like the finest silks to make us un-touchable. Qui-Gon Jinn was right, even Dooku and Ashoka. We claimed the Sith made the Force murky, but we had so lost our way. We were no longer servants of the Force but lived in the belief that it served us."

Obi-Wan did not get up from where he knelt with her on the floor, but there was an anxious, restless air about him as if he wanted to indulge in the very un-Jedi habit of pacing.

"I look back," he continued softly. "And as much as I want to lay it all at the feet of the Sith; we aided the orchestration of our own downfall and destroyed the peace of the galaxy with us."

She lifted her cup as she talked, stirring from her position, moving it aside. She stepped closer to him as he finished, kneeling in front of him, reaching out a hand to place, supportive, on his shoulder.

She doesn't know all those names. She has no idea who they are - but she can feel what's now pouring off of him. So much guilt. And there's notes of what she's seen, in her own Order. Complacency, after the defeat of Exar Kun - an arrogance in the perceived rightness of their decisions.

"I'm sorry," she says. It's all she can, really. He's letting some of the pain out, at least - and she can only be an encouraging friend, in such a moment.

Her movement, the touch of her hand, cause Obi-Wan to go reeling back into himself with a sense of horror over what he let leak. Such a display of emotion was un Jedi-like and he'd just indulged in front of a legend from his history books.

"There is no need for that," he says and perhaps the words come a little quickly, but what follows is more calm and serene. "Some lessons are hard learned, and as you say there is an ebb and a flow to the balance of the universe. It was the will of the Force that I play a role in such a period and I need to remind myself to accept that will."

She frowns, watching it locked away like that again. It's...not good to keep it inside like that. It has to be...well, not purged but vented, like excess heat from an engine. Then, and only then, can it be controlled. Used to power things...more useful. But she pulls back, taking it as a rejection of comfort, returning to her previous position, picking up her tea again.

"Accept that it has happened," she said, after a long silence and a sip of it, and it is said quietly. "Yes. These things cannot be hidden from. I will never be able to forget the manacles on my wrists, as a child after my parents tied. My slavery in the undercity of Taris. That my father's murderer wanted to buy me, a fate delayed only my Revan and his Jedi destroying the Mandalorian siege of the planet."

"I struggled with that for so long," she said, voice oddly subdued. "The anger, the pain. I held it in. It nearly destroyed me. The will of the Force had made me a thing, had killed my parents in degradation - how could I not hear the siren call of the dark?"

She stopped, then, not looking at him for a long moment.

"In the end, after everything...it was in unburdening myself of it, to my trusted friends, sharing the pain and finding...sympathy and kindness in return for it? It is then that I healed. As much as one ever can, I suppose."

Obi-Wan understood what she was saying, in among the tale she was sharing, but he knew he wasn't in a place to completely embrace the lesson. Perhaps after some meditation and a bit of time to clear his head.

"Thank you," he said in a quiet, rough voice. "For sharing something so personal with me." When they were only just starting to know one another.

He took another moment, sipped on his tea and then pointed out the unalterable fact.

"All my trusted friends are dead," Obi-Wan said in a tone of solemn acceptance. "The others look at me as if I should have these answers, they call me Master and General and it is like a knife twisting in my heart. It is not their problem, it is mine. I need to figure out how to get past it."

"It has to be shared," she replied, waving it away. "It denies it power over me."

But oh, for the rest.

"They look to you that way because you are wise," she replied, with a soft smile. "I still do not know everything that happened to you, but to cause you such pain to remember what was...yes, it must be very difficult, for you. So very hard."

She held her cup in her hands, claiming the last of the warmth for her palms, downing the contents.

"It is hard to say 'I don't know' when others look to you, I imagine," she finishes, sympathy clear in her voice.

"It is more complicated than saying 'I don't know'. It is the trial of having to take responsibility for my part in a cataclysmic failure, accept that responsibility and risk placing myself back in the same position."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, and reached for the tea pot.

"Please, make yourself comfortable, Juhani. This is going to take awhile." Pouring himself a fresh cup, the man sat back and with a deep breath, began to talk.

"Senator Sheev Palpatine of Naboo, at some point in his life discovered the power of the Dark Side and the galaxy gave birth to the first Sith to come along in over a thousand years. Not only was Palpatine the first Sith Master to rise in all that time, he is by far the most gifted manipulator the Sith have ever seen." Truly, what the man had orchestrated, even with the assistance of the Dark Side of the Force, was ... impressive.

"My fate became entangled with his, through my master and through his master. My master was Qui-Gon Jinn, who had been a Padawan apprentice to Dooku, who in turn had been the Padawan apprentice to our Order's Grandmaster, Yoda." He glanced up at her, apologetically, since he understood the names would mean little to her. Yoda's title might be useful, but at this point in the story, the names wouldn't mean much. His expression said be patient with me, it will make sense as I go along.

"Qui-Gon was considered a maverick by the Jedi Council and the Jedi Order. He was very powerfully aligned to the Living Force and he believed strongly in the will of the Force, rather than the will of the Council, which he saw as the will of the Senate. And he was not wrong. Qui-Gon was also a student of the Jedi Mystics and the prophecies. This often put him at odds with the Council, they would tell him to do X and he would proceed to do Y."

Obi-Wan's expression, as he relayed this, was one of fond exasperation.

"Yoda actually apprenticed me to Qui-Gon, he did not choose me. We figured out, down the road that this had probably been a deliberate move on the part of the Council, as I was extremely rebellious and independent as a young Initiate. Yoda, no doubt, realized that I would rebel against any master I was partnered with, so he partnered me with Qui-Gon, who was the Order rebel, knowing that I would then become the perfect follower of the rules. Which is pretty much how it went."

Meddlesome troll.

"Qui-Gon and I were master and apprentice for twelve years. During that time Palpatine was slowly rising in power and putting his pieces into motion on the board, right under the Jedi Council's nose. I had been Qui-Gon's apprentice for about two years when Dooku left the Jedi Order. Though he was never as flagrant in his disregard for the Order's rules and regulations, he was utterly disillusioned by the Order and ultimately he walked away.

I believe he tried to convince Qui-Gon to leave, a time or two but Qui-Gon's belief in the Force and in the role of the Jedi as servants to the force, stayed my master's hand. It also probably signed his death warrant."

Move along Obi-Wan, move along.

"I was about twenty-five when Palpatine began to move more overtly in the galaxy. One of his favorite gambits was the set up two sides of opposing figures, and then place himself in positions of influence on both sides. In this case, he -as Darth Sidious- had manipulated the Trade Federation," Obi-Wan paused gave his head a shake and tried to clarify for her. "Neimoidian's held primary control of the Trade Federation. Sidious coordinated for them to blockade the planet of Naboo."

Palpatine's home planet. Obi-Wan gives Juhani a moment to connect all those dots.

"Master Qui-Gon and I were sent to negotiate with the Trade Federation to remove the blockade. While we were on their command ship, they made an attempt to assassinate us." From his tone, she can no doubt surmise about how well that went for the Trade Federation. "But there was a second part to Sidious's plan. The Trade Federation, using a droid army, invaded Naboo and captured the democratically elected queen."

Now it was time for a tea refill, and he gave her another apologetic look. He had promised this was long.

"Qui-Gon and I freed the queen and overran the blockage to get her out with the intent of bringing her to Coruscant. Our ship was damaged, too greatly to make it back to Coruscant and we were forced to hide on the planet Tatooine. While we were on that planet, seeking to repair the ship, two things happened. Qui-Gon discovered a young boy, Anakin Skywalker, a child with the highest midi-chlorians count we had ever encountered. We also encountered Sidious's apprentice, the Sith Darth Maul."

Obi-Wan moved quickly over the next parts of the story. The return to Coruscant, Qui-Gon insisting that Anakin Skywalker was The Chosen One, of prophecy, and that he be taken into the Temple, despite his age of nine. Perhaps this might help Juhani understand some of the changes the Order had gone through; the fact that the Council would have rejected a nine-year old as 'too old'. Palpatine manipulating Padme into calling for a vote of no confidence in Valorum and thus securing the Chancellorship for himself. Finally, Qui-Gon's repudiation of Obi-Wan in the Council chamber and claiming Anakin as his new Padawan Learner, and then it was time to go back to Naboo.

"It is my belief, after all this time, that Sidious knew Qui-Gon was the greatest threat to his plans and that Darth Maul was under orders to destroy Qui-Gon. We fought Maul, I was separated from them and Maul struck Qui-Gon a fatal blow." Again Obi-Wan moves quickly over his own role in the remainder of the dual, as if it were unimportant to him; which ... it was.

"As Qui-Gon lay dying, he charged me to train Anakin, insisting with his dying breath that Anakin was The Chosen One, and would bring balance to the Force."

There was a pause here, a long pause as Obi-Wan relived Qui-Gon's death, and the jump from Padawan Learner, to Master. Looking back, he knows that there was no way he had been ready for that responsibility. Qui-Gon had meant it for the best, Obi-Wan believed that, but his master had unintentionally set both Obi-Wan and Anakin up for failure.

Obi-Wan topped off his tea and began to explain, in as high a level as he could, the challenges that Anakin had faced in the Temple as a Jedi Padawan. Not only being separated from his mother, but the resentment from the other Initiates and even the thinly veiled hostility of some Knights and other Masters -looking at you Windu-. Forget the burden of being "The Chosen One."

The two of them had tried their best, Anakin proving to be just as powerful, but also kind, compassionate and good as Qui-Gon had believed. Obi-Wan brought the story along quickly, to the events that would occur when Anakin was around nineteen. The return of Padme into their lives, and Anakin's love for the strong young Senator from Naboo. The steps that would put Anakin and Padme in close proximity, while Obi-Wan was sent to find the planet Kamino and the clone army that appeared to have been commissioned by Jedi Council member Master Sifo Dyas.

At this point, it was time for another pot of tea. Obi-Wan unfolded himself from his kneeling position and walked over to the kitchenette set the kettle back to heating.

"At some point, after Darth Maul's 'death', Sidious got to Count Dooku and made him his next apprentice. Dooku and Sidious took over control of the clone army and once again, Sidious set up both sides against the middle."

Turning to lean on the counter while the kettle heated, Obi-Wan crossed his arms over his stomach.

"Dooku was in command of a growing Separatists movement of planets and star systems that wanted to break away from the Republic. Sidious, under the guise of Palpatine, was of course the head of the Republic and used the Separatists actions, orchestrated between himself and Dooku, to thrust us into war. The Clone Army, under the command of the Jedi at the behest of the Republic Senate, against the droid armies of the Separatists, lead by Count Dooku."

Looking back, the red flags seemed so very prominent that Obi-Wan could barely remember why he never saw it. Why Yoda, Plo Koon and other members of the Council, never saw it. Eyes cast up towards the ceiling, the look far away he expressed these thoughts after a long moment of silence.

"The Order was so corrupted by our own inflated sense of self-importance and hubris that none of us saw how we were being manipulated. We were Jedi, keepers of the peace and we blindly allowed ourselves to be made into Generals, put in command of battalions of soldiers, leading a war we should never have supported."

He paused, eyes coming back to her, old and haunted as he continued without giving himself any mercy.

"I sat on the High Council during that time. Sometimes I argued against what we were doing, what was happening. Sometimes I didn't say a word. Merely took my battalions out on the front lines and fought. Never once did I stop and really question the orders we were taking from the Senate; from Palpatine. Never once did I raise the alarm at the freedoms we were giving up, the loss of the impartiality of the Jedi Order."

All things Qui-Gon would have been shouting from the rooftops. Things that even Dooku tried to warn Obi-Wan about.

"Even Satine tied to remain neutral. Her perspective ..." he began before shaking his head. That was a side tale to the main events and one that Juhani did not need to be taken down at this time.

The kettle whistled and Obi-Wan turned to indulge in the soothing ritual of making a fresh pot of tea. Carrying the warm little pot back to where they were sitting, he knelt and set the pot down, giving Juhani first rights of refusal.

"Concurrent to everything I have told you, is the tragedy of Anakin Skywalker." He took a deep breath and then backed up events for her. Going back to the beginning of the war, back to when Sidious orchestrated the capture and murder of Shmi Skywalker and Anakin's slaughter of the Tuskens. Back to Anakin and Padme's secret marriage -the worst kept secret- Anakin's graduation to Jedi Knight, and the slow, cunning seduction Palpatine wove around the young Jedi.

"I tried to talk to him about his relationship with Padme, to share some of my own experiences with attachment, but I never got the words right. I should have tried harder, I let my anxiety get the better of me and … I should have been more direct.

Sidious used my blindness, my dogmatic adherence to the Jedi Code, to the Council as an in to Anakin’s deepest fears. He was able to position himself as a father figure, where I was never comfortable in the role, and was long whispering in Anakin’s ear; seducing him with the promise of powers that the Jedi would not condone.

Like the way, Sidious was on both sides of the war, so too was he on both sides of Anakin’s greatest fears, stoking them and soothing them in turn. Then fate stepped in and handed him the final piece he needed to put all his plans into motion. Padme became pregnant."

She merely listens, fidgeting a bit with the cup in her hand a few times as she listens. She's fairly certain he's wrong about this Palpatine being the first Sith to arise in that long. What it tells her is that at some point, the Sith had been forced to adjust their tactics. That it had no longer been a meeting of Empires and Fleets - but moving into the shadows.

So thoroughly that the Jedi had thought them extinct. But the key to understanding the Sith is that one of the things they always feared was their own end - jealous of their secrets, yet willing to create an endless cycle of betrayal in order to ensure power continually rose. She couldn't guess at how they'd survived.

But somehow, they had sublimated their ego, and their rage - and grown quiet. That was perhaps the most frightening aspect of them she'd heard of. A new dimension to an old enemy. The rest of what Obi-Wan described...she wanted to say that was not how a Grand Master would behave, but thousands of years had passed. She didn't know, much as some of it tapped away at the back of her mind like thin legs upon glass.

The Jedi should fight to protect the innocent. They should intervene when it means saving lives of any sort. But by the same token, the war itself was a corruption, a hidden agenda writ large in tragedy and endless suffering. The Order he's describing is so foolish, so arrogant and unable to see - it seems impossible. She wants it to be impossible, feels it has to be, but - she was not there, was she? He may be being too harsh, blaming himself and the Order of his era too much.

But she'd never know, would she? That, perhaps, gives her the most sadness. That she cannot pierce through that veil of history between them.

She merely sighs, shoulders sagging.

"At one of the times, I take it, that the Order forbids such things. Like they try do in mine."

Not with terribly much effectiveness, these days.

"Correct," he acknowledged with a sad expression. "You'd have thought, with all our supposed joy in the idea of life that we would celebrate it, but instead we slotted such a thing as 'attachment' to be avoided at all cost."

Which in and of itself said something about the state of the Jedi Order, but if it had been the same in her time, perhaps this was something with which the Jedi had always struggled. Such philosophizing had been more Qui-Gon and Dooku's areas.

"Sidious had the final shatterpoint he needed to set his plans in motion. He used the risk of losing Padme in childbirth as the final wedge between Anakin and the Jedi Order.” Initially Obi-Wan had been fuzzy on these details, but again. Ten years of solitude gave a man time to think and Obi-Wan had always been a brilliant tactician. Once he’d mapped the path of what had happened to Shmi Skywalker, the rest had fallen into place.

“Ultimately, Sidious needed Anakin isolated to finish bringing him to his side. Anakin’s attachments to his mother, to Padme and their child, to the Jedi, they all had to be severed in the end.” Once again, the Sith had been playing on both sides of Anakin’s shoulders. Weaving events to destroy all the young man’s connections, while promising Anakin ways to protect them.

And now, Obi-Wan had no where left to go with the story, except back into the nightmare. The words wouldn’t come for the longest time, because these admittances never came easy. He felt his eyes becoming moist and quickly ducked his head, forcing the tears back through a combination of strength of will, and pure self-recrimination.

But when he looked back up, his face was dry and Obi-Wan spoke with calm, direct words.

"When Padme was within a couple weeks of birth when it all came to a head. Apparently, Padme, Bail Organa and some others in Senate were already concerned with how much Executive Power the Senate had been voting to give the Chancellor. I expect Sidious was aware of the rumblings and where they were coming from, he knew he had to move in order to finish consolidating his power.

I was on Geonosi when it all came apart, Master Yoda was on Kashyyyk, Master Plo Koon was on Cato Neimoidia,” the words were spoken in almost a whisper. “Anakin was on Coruscant, and Mace Windu was the senior ranking Council member still on Coruscant.”

Once again, names Juhani would not know, but if he stopped to explain every single actor in this tragedy, they'd be here for day.

"Mace and Anakin were another shatterpoint in all this. Mace and Qui-Gon were often at odds and I feel that some of Mace's animosity towards Qui-Gon, transferred to Anakin. I tried to shield Anakin, as best I could but it was never enough. Anakin had never been comfortable with Mace and Mace never trusted or believed in Anakin.

Oil and water,” he whispered, but that was as far as he would vocalize that thought. A blink and he refocused on her.

“I only know these events through secondhand recounts, mostly from Bail Organa. Mace Windu led the Jedi to capture Counsellor Palpatine under the charge that he was the Sith Lord. There was a confrontation in Palpatine’s office during which Mace Windu and the Jedi masters who had accompanied him were killed. Sidious sent out the order to the clone troopers to turn on the Jedi in the field, before going before the Senate body to announce that the Jedi Order had attempted to stage a military coup and overthrow the government. He branded the Jedi traitors to the Republic and solidified himself as Emperor.”

Obi-Wan paused, went to take a sip of tea, giving her time to absorb all this before he continued with the next part.

“At some point, during all of that, Sidious completed his seduction of Anakin Skywalker. Anakin became Lord Vader at Sidious’ right hand.” How odd. Those two sentences felt almost anti-climatic now. Perhaps hearing Vader state that he had killed Anakin Skywalker had somehow turned things in Obi-Wan’s own psyche.

“Sidious sent Anak… sent Lord Vader to the Jedi Temple, along with the 501st clone trooper regiment with order to kill everyone in the Temple,” the words were spoken with a false sense of detachment, but his eyes told more of the story. The sight of all the little bodies, cut down by a man they had looked too for protection.

“Master Yoda and I returned too late,” he went on to say. “The Temple was burning, everyone was dead, our only next course of action was to try to stop Sidious’ grip on the Republic. Master Yoda went to confront Sidious and I went to confront Anakin.”

How emotionally and mentally compromised he still was, by what had happened, Obi-Wan gave no indication. Though perhaps, from his almost preternatural calm, Juhani could draw her own conclusions.

“I knew that Padme knew where he would go. After I asked her, and she refused to tell me, I watched as she prepared her ship and when she went to depart, I stowed away aboard it. We went to Mustafar. She tried to talk to Anakin …” here things get so blurry for Obi-Wan. At the time it had all been clear, but looking back, trying to grasp a single thread of what happened, felt like trying to grab mercury. It all just … blurred. and again, his eyes suggested he was far, far away.

“Looking back, I don’t know, maybe Padme would have gotten through to him had I not been there." Another guilt he carries. "Maybe she could have helped Anakin throw off the chains of Lord Vader. I have replayed these events so many times; each time just when I am ready to accept that she were right and I was wrong, I know in my heart that Sidious would never have allowed her and the children to live. Not so long as he was alive, and even had Anakin turned back …Sidious defeated Master Yoda, he still held command of the clone troops, the Empire … I just …”

Bantha crap. He was rambling. Obi-Wan stopped himself, visibly forced himself back to the here and the now, took a breath and continued.

“I appeared and Anakin, fractured. He believed ... he insisted Padme were colluding against him and he attacked her. He and I … fought,” such a small word for everything that had happened, but he wasn’t about to try to give her a blow by blow of that battle. “I caused him grave injuries. I believed they were mortal wounds but I … I …” he hadn’t had the courage to step down and deliver a decisive mortal blow. “I couldn’t kill him. Instead, I left him for dead,” Obi-Wan whispered in a voice that wavered.

Again, he struggled back to the present, hands shifting with agitated movement to the nearly empty cup of tea. The fact that he doesn’t take a sip making it clear that he was fretting. Not very Jedi-like.

“I got back to the ship, a droid had gotten Padme aboard the ship, she were in and out of consciousness. We got to a mining station under Alderaan’s control, Bail Organa again giving Yoda and I sanctuary and providing us with the best medical facilities. But even the best … they could find nothing physically wrong with her, yet she was fading.”

Had it been Sidious, again? Had it been a broken heart in the wake of everything that had happened to Anakin and the world around them? Focus Obi-Wan, focus … he grabbed on to the small thread of hope that lay in amongst the wreckage of their lives.

“Padme gave birth to twins. A boy, she named Luke and a girl, she named Leia, and she insisted, in the moment before she died, that there was still good in Anakin." As he said the names, Obi-Wan forced his eyes to focus back on Juhani's face. Looking for any sense of recognition to suggest the other Jedi may have come across Luke or Leia in camp already.

She listens to a tale of tragedy and woe that would have brought down nearly anyone - that he is still standing is a testament to the man, quite frankly.

"The young ones," she replies, barely a whisper, in recognition. But she also sets aside her tea, and shifts closer, seating herself on her knees in front of him.

"And I do this for your own good," she said. "Please, understand."

And she reached out to fold her arms around him in a hug. It wasn't very Jedi-like, no. It wasn't Jedi-like to fret. It wasn't Jedi-like to be...anything of what they were. But the thing she'd learned at Revan's side was that it wasn't the council who defined what it was to be a Jedi. It was yourself, and nobody else. And sitting across from her, by her measure, was one of the greatest Jedi the Order had ever, would ever, produce. A man so good that he had endured the end of everything he believed in and served, and still not fallen.

Comfort, care - these were not alien to the Jedi. But the core of what they should be.

"You are a good man, Ben Kenobi," she finished, pulling back. "Hard though I think it is for you to see it right now."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Meeting of Minds [Open to bentheredonethat]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject