forcecalls: (defiant sad)
Ben Solo | Kylo Ren ([personal profile] forcecalls) wrote in [community profile] annexedlogs 2022-09-12 06:09 am (UTC)

He hears the approval. What he feels for himself is shame, realising just how far he had strayed from whatever might have been. In honesty, he hadn't gotten to thinking through what he wanted as a far reaching vision for the galaxy. His time has been spent on things far closer and often more petty. Simply solidifying his position in the wake of Snoke's death, and having to struggle to create so small a change as getting people to stop stealing children in an attempt to raise future Storm Troopers. It was all more difficult than he'd imagined, for what little he had ever imagined being in charge. But he hadn't planned on doing it alone.

He nods, an acknowledgement that what his grandfather says is something he can agree with, even as another part of him wonders whether he may truly be the monster they say. But he's not Snoke. He's not Palpatine. And he never wants to be. At least there's that.

"Rey was an enemy to start with. But the Force connected us." Snoke's doing, he had claimed, but Kylo doesn't believe that. The bond was still too strong in his absence, and there remained too much to draw them together for it be entirely outside influence. Somehow, he can't help but think that still, even with Rey barely willing to speak to him, and the recent revelation of Palpatine's involvement in everything muddying the water. He doesn't allow himself to think to hard about that last, in the moment. Someday, he'll ask his grandfather advice with regard to the former Emperor, but not right now. Not when he still hasn't sorted any of it out for himself.

"There was a time, a year ago, when I offered for her to join me. To help me make things better. To make the galaxy as we want, instead of how it has been." Instead, she had left him on a torn apart ship, with not much of a plan and only anger to drive him. "But she refused."

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